


To all the pastas ive loved before

by orphan_account



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom, Marble Hornets
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, M/M, Slenderverse, Yeahhhh i have no life, creepypasta au, to all the boys i've loved before - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:28:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21511525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: To all the boys I've loved before auBen's five secret crushes, Jeff, Toby, Jack, Helen & Gold, recieve love letters that somehow got sent to them.
Relationships: BEN (BEN Drowned)/Jeffrey Woods | Jeff the Killer, Tobias Erin "Toby" Roger | Ticci Toby/BEN (BEN Drowned), Tobias Erin "Toby" Rogers | Ticci Toby/Timothy "Tim" Wright | Masky
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	1. chapter one

I've liked Toby since Masky even knew he existed. If I had it my way, he would be with me. But I was too late, Masky & Toby started dating before I could make a move.

I wasn't angry, but I couldn't do much now. All I could do was write Toby a love letter. I didn't send it to him, I kept it to myself. I poured out my heart on that sheet of paper like a love sick school girl. Part of me wondered what it would have been like to really give him that letter. I wonder what would have happened then...

There are five letters total, all to different boys I've liked before. I hide them in a special place where I'm almost certain no one will ever find them. I can't let anyone know I'm gay, let alone I'm head over heals for my fellow pastas.

The letters for all my different crushes. Helen Otis, Jeffery Woods, Eyeless Jack, Lost Silver & of course, Toby Rodgers.

I wrote the letters when my feelings were so intense, I didn't know what to do. They're all stupid in my honest opinion, but sometimes being stupid can be fun. As long as nobody else finds out about it.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as I heard a knock at the door. I spun around on my chair & replied. "Come in" I called out, watching as the door opened.

I was surprised to see Jeff rush in, closing the door & locking it behind him. "Door's unlocked, huh? That's new" he commented. Despite his cocky attitude, I could tell he was shaken up.

Yes, Jeff. As in Jeffery Woods, one of my previous crushes. We didn't talk much since he got busy with killing more than usual. 

"That's suspicious" I replied, nodding to the now locked door.

He rolled his eyes before pressing a finger to his lips to shush me.

"Jeffy!" From the other side of the door, I could hear a girl's voice. 

I thought for a moment before giving Jeff a questioning glance. "Nina?" I whispered.

He nodded, not saying a word. 

I rolled my eyes, turning back around in my chair. I switched on my computer, planning to play some games & just ignore Jeff until Nina stopped searching for him. I didn't really mind him being in my room as long as he stayed quiet & didn't touch anything.

Unfortunately, he did the opposite. He came up behind me, leaning against my chair as if to watch me play games. I held back a sigh, searching through my games.

I then heard him move. "What's in here?" He asked. When I glanced over, he was fidgeting with my locked drawer built into my desk. 

I felt my face heat up in embarrassment, that was the drawer I kept my love letters in. Without thinking, I raised my foot & stomped on his hand. "Don't touch that!" I scolded.

He let out a small yelp in pain & glared at me. The glare was followed by a smirk. "Why, are you hiding your porn mags in there?" He teased.

My face was bright red, but I decided admitting to having a porn stash was much more prideful than admitting to having love letters kept from years of crushes. Not only that, but one was addressed to Jeff himself. "Yeah, you got me. I have some crazy hentai manga in there" I shrugged.

Jeff pulled his hand out from under my foot finally. "Oh gross" He mumbled. He finally dropped the intent to open the drawer & lay down on my bed like he lived there.

I rolled my eyes, turning back to my computer screen. I finally chose a game & started to play it, ignoring Jeff's sighs of boredom.

I didn't get to play much of my game as I heard another knock at the door. I paused my game & glanced to the door behind me. Jeff sat up & held his breath, probably hoping it wasn't Nina.

To his luck, it was just Sally. "Me & Clockwork made dinner, Ben!" She called happily.

I couldn't help but smile at her voice. "Alright, we- uh, I'll be down in a second" I called back. I looked over to Jeff as I stood up. I waited until I heard Sally's footsteps fade before speaking. "Are you coming or do you wanna camp out in my room?"

Jeff frowned, laying back on his bed. "There's no way I'm going out there while Nina's around. Just bring me something up".

I regretted giving him the option but I had no reason to kick him out. "Okay, see ya" I unlocked the door & left my room. 

I made my way downstairs & into the kitchen. I noticed Nina trying to pick the lock to Jeff's room as I passed but I decided to ignore her. Just because I was hiding Jeff didn't mean I had to stop his stalker from stealing his underwear.

Once I got to the kitchen, a few of the others were already there. Masky, Hoodie, Toby, Clockwork, Jane, Eyeless Jack & of course, Sally.

I sat down beside Toby, he seemed happy to see me. "Hey Ben, I haven't seen you in days" he chuckled, pulling his mouthguard down so he could eat.

I didn't leave my room very often, I preferred video games over people. "Yeah, I've been busy" I shrugged with a small smile. 

During dinner, I couldn't help but glance toward Toby every so often. I didn't even notice when some of the others left. 

Toby left once Masky had finished, leaving me the last one to eat. Although I had strong feelings for Toby, he was clearly very happy with Masky. & I was happy for them.

Once I finished my food, I took my plate to the sink & began to wash it. I normally wouldn't do this, but I thought of it as a 'thank you’ to Sally & Clockwork for cooking.

"Geez, you eat so slow" I jumped a little & spun around to face Jeff. He was picking at the left overs & eating what he wanted.

I let out a small laugh. "Sorry, I got distracted" was all I said, turning back to dry the plate.

"By what?" He asked, but I didn't reply. I put my plate away & left the kitchen.

As I began to walk upstairs, I saw Sally run past my room. The door was open, I assumed it was Jeff being careless.

I didn't get the chance to ask her why she was running since she ran right to her room. I shrugged to myself & went to my own room. I lay down on my bed & decided to have a nap, maybe I could play games when I woke up around 1am. That would give me a good 5 hour nap.


	2. Chapter two

I woke up, groaning as I forced my body to get off my bed. I made my way to the computer & turned it on. The time read 1:32am, a little later than I wanted to wake up but it would do. I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up. I grabbed my nintendo switch & began to play pokemon. 

Before I knew it, it was bright outside. I glared at the sunlight beaming through the small cracks in my blinds. My attention turned back to the game. I was about to face the seventh gym battle. I shrugged & saved the game, deciding to get back to it later. I got off my seat & stretched out my arms & legs. I ran a hand through my messy blonde hair, not caring how I looked. I wondered if I should go out & buy some coffee, it had been a while since I'd been outside. 

I began to look for my sunglasses to cover my black eyes & red pupils, that would probably freak people out. I grabbed my sunglasses & put them on, changing into something other than my regular clothes to look more normal. I grabbed a handful of change & shoved it into my pocket, then something caught my eye. I noticed the lock had been taken off my drawer. I stared at it for a moment before locking it back up. I decided I must have opened it last night & forgot to lock it again.

I left my room & closed the door behind me. I was about to make my way downstairs when I heard someone call me. "Hey, Benny!" 

I looked over to who was calling me, it happened to be Jeff. "Hey Jeff, what's up" I asked him. 

He leaned against the wall once he got a close enough distance to me. "Look, I'm sorry but I don't think we can you know" he trailed off, gesturing toward me & then himself. "Be a thing".

I shot him a confused look & tilted my head. "Sorry, what?" I asked.

Jeff continued. "I think it's cool you think I have pretty blue eyes & my hair looks soft, I really appreciate it. I do.." He continued to ramble while I just gave him a blank look. Then I noticed something in his hand. A piece of paper? No, a letter. The love letter I wrote him a year or so ago. 

I felt my face go pale. My heart stopped when I saw Toby walking down the hall, letter in hand. The letter I had written about him only recently. "Oh my fucking god" I breathed out, I felt as if I was about to faint. I glanced to Jeff & put my hands either side of his face. Before he could question me. I pulled our faces together & began to kiss him.

We kissed for a good few seconds before we were pulled apart. Pulled apart by none other than Nina with widened eyes. "Jeff?" She asked slowly. 

Jeff was surprised as her, he just smiled & shrugged. I looked over to Toby, he had stopped in his tracks, another face of surprise. I puffed out my cheeks & darted downstairs. "Ben, wait!" I could hear Toby call out. I was sure I could hear multiple sets of footsteps behind me. I found myself in a cupboard, hiding amongst the brooms & forgotten items. 

I exhaled, holding a hand over my mouth to remain silent. I could hear footsteps, but I had no way of knowing who they were. There was then a knock on the cupboard door & I froze. "Ben, are you in there?" Someone asked. 

"No.." I replied without thinking. He then slid a piece of paper through the crack in the door. I squinted my eyes, trying to see what it was through the darkness. My face turned pale again, the letter I wrote for Helen. I took it from him & stared at it.

"I saw you run in here so I thought you might want this back, it looks personal" He told me, I could now recognise his voice as Helen's. 

"Thanks" I replied with a pause. "Is Jeff or Toby out there?"

Helen let out a small chuckle. "Nah, they ran out to the woods to find you".

I let out a sigh of relief & opened the door, stepping out. "I wrote this months ago, by the way" I told him.

He smiled a little & nodded. "Yeah, that's when we got locked in Slender's office, right" he laughed softly at the memory. 

I nodded in reply. "I gotta go check something" I pointed down the hall way & he nodded in understanding, waving me off as I ran. 

I rushed up the stairs & back into my room. I almost slammed the door behind me & dived to my desk. I unlocked the drawer & opened it, it was empty. All five letters were missing. I gritted my teeth together in frustration, putting the letter back in the drawer. I shoved my face into my hands, I couldn't tell if my face was red or white anymore. "Shit!" I cried out, mumbling into my hands. 

I jumped as someone spoke. "What are you doing?" I spun around to see Sally, staring at me in confusion. 

I let out a small sigh & shook my head, closing the drawer with one hand. "Nothing" I mumbled. 

"Toby's looking for you" Sally sang with a smile, looking behind her. 

My eyes widened & in a panic, I drew my blinds up & opened the window. "If he asks, I'm out killing" I told her, climbing out the window & climbing up onto the roof. I took a seat & looked at the woods. I sighed, I would have to tell him eventually. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" What's with people sneaking up on me recently? I turned my head to see Jeff hanging out his window. 

I sighed, turning away from him & not answering. I heard him climb up the roof. Before I knew it, he was sitting right beside me. 

"I just wanna make something really clear" He began. 

I didn't bother to look at him, I kept my eyes on the trees. "Okay?" I replied, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm really flattered but I-"

"Are you trying to reject me?" I scoffed, finally looking over to him. 

Jeff nodded. "Well yeah, I don't think you got it the first time".

I shook my head & laughed a little. "Jeffery Woods, I'm not trying to date you".

He gave me a confused look. "You literally kissed me earlier" He reminded me. 

I rolled my eyes. "I don't actually like you, I just had to make it look like I like you so someone else wouldn't think I like them" I explained, hoping I was making sense. 

"Okay?" He trailed off before speaking again. "Who?"

"I'm not telling you that!"

"If you don't, I'll just keep on believing that you're the one stealing my underwear instead of Nina" He spoke as if it were a threat. 

I snorted a little. "No".

"I guess I'll just tell everyone you wrote me a love letter" He shrugged, starting to stand up. 

My eyes widened, I grabbed his sleeve & pulled him back down. It was bad enough five people knew about the letters, nevermind the whole mansion. Or at least I hoped Lost Silver hadn't gotten the letter since he wasn't staying at the mansion. & who knows, maybe since Jack is blind he won't even read the letter. "Fine, uh..." I gulped before telling him. "Toby".

He gave me a confused look. "Doesn't he date Masky?"

"Yep" I nodded. "He also got a letter so you can guess how awkward that's gonna be".

"Wait wait wait, I'm not the only one who got a letter?" He asked, he seemed as if he was offended. I nodded & he huffed. "I thought I was special, wow".

I rolled my eyes & crossed my arms. "Don't feel too special cause I wrote five letters".

"You wrote five love letters?" He asked, surprised. 

"Yeah".

"To who?"

"If I tell you, will you fuck off?"

He shrugged.

I sighed before responding. "Helen, EJ & lost silver".

"EJ is straight"

"You don't know that. So we good here?" I huffed, hugging my knees to my chest. I planned on staying on the roof for a while but I hoped Jeff would leave me alone now.

He nodded with a small shrug, standing up. "Yeah, you wanna hide in my room?" He offered, reaching a hand out to me. 

"Why?"

"You scratch my back, I scratch yours" He shrugged. "You wouldn't be on the roof if you weren't hiding from someone, I know you that much" he chuckled. 

I took his hand & he helped me onto my feet. We carefully made our way down the roof & into Jeff's open window, thankfully the trees were there to help us. 

I took a seat on his bed, his room was cleaner than I expected it to be. He closed the window & sat down beside me. He hummed to himself before speaking. "So what are you gonna say to Rogers?" 

I shrugged, I hadn't really thought about that. "The truth". 

"Yeah but what is the truth?" He continued to pry. "Do you like him? Do you not like him?" 

"That's not your problem, Jeff" I told him as i playfully pushed him, hard enough to catch him off guard. He ended up falling off his bed. I chuckled a little. 

When he got up, he smirked a little. I could already tell he had a stupid idea brewing in his head. "But what if you didn't tell him?"

I tilted my head to one side & waited for him to continue what he was proposing.

"What if we let people think we're actually together? Just for a little bit" he asked, gesturing to me. Not just Rogers, everyone!"

"Why would you want that?" I asked, my cheeks daring to heat up. As far as I knew, Jeff wasn't interested in romance. Even if he was, he was probably straight. 

"Nina was so pissed when we kissed that she ran into her room. Her own room! You're like crazy fangirl repellent!" He declared with a grin. 

I gave him a blank stare. "So you're using me as a pawn?"

"Technically, you used me first" he shrugged, reminding me of the kiss. I rolled my eyes, getting off his bed & making my way to the door. He followed, opening the door for me & walking me to my room. "You don't have to give me an answer right now, but think about it". 

I nodded, entering my own room. "Yep, don't hold your breath" I told him, turning around before closing my door & leaning against the door frame, waiting for whatever else he wanted to tell me. 

"Since when have you two been hanging out?" I froze as I heard Toby's voice, from the corner of my eye I could see him approaching us. 

Jeff shrugged, crossing his arms. "Not long". 

I could see Toby's stare turn toward me, so I quickly stepped back & slammed my door shut, locking it. 

I went to my chair & sat down of it, letting out a long sigh. I wanted to scream. I glanced back to my drawer, I still wonder who sent those letters out in the first place.


	3. Chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a lil drunk while writing this but I hope its still gucci my doods

I didn't get much sleep last night, I was busy finishing my pokemon game. Not only that, but I was thinking over Jeff's offer. His offer to pretend to date me in order to make Toby believe I don't have feeling for him. Not only that, but I would be his Nina repel. 

I got off my bed & left my room. I made my way downstairs, luckily I caught up with Jeff in the hallway before he entered the kitchen. "Jeff!" I called out to him, causing him to turn around to look at me. "Let's do this!"

He smiled, walking towards me. He grabbed the collar of my shirt & pulled me into a kiss. I heard someone exit the kitchen & then walk back in after seeing us. I was the first to pull away, staring up at Jeff speechlessly.

"Right, I'm gonna... go to... food!" I told him, pointing toward the kitchen.

He laughed a little. "Me too".

We made our way to the kitchen & sat down across from each other, Toby didn't show up for breakfast. Jeff held my hand under the table, making it very hard to eat only using one hand. 

After breakfast, I pulled Jeff into my room & locked the door. He smirked at me as he watched me lock it. "We onto that stage already?" He teased, pulling up his shirt slightly. 

I sighed & pushed his face away. I then took a seat at my desk, opening up a document on my computer. "Let's make a contract" I announced. Jeff leaned against the back of my chair, looking at the screen.

"A what?"

"Just some rules so we're clear about this whole thing".

"Psh, buzzkill" he mumbled. I flicked his head with my fingers & began to type. 

"First rule, don't kiss me" I began. 

"What? Who's gonna believe we're dating if I can't kiss you?"

"It's gross" I scrunched up my nose. That was a lie, it just made my heart feel as if it could explode at any moment. "Besides, I've never had a boyfriend before. I want all my firsts to be real".

"You kissed me first" he pointed out, tapping at my head with one finger. 

I pursed my lips, smacking his hand away. "It's non negotiable, sir" I told him with a shrug. 

"Fine" Jeff replied defeatedly. "We have to figure something out so people think we're in a relationship".

He wasn't wrong, I never thought I'd say that. "Okay, we can hold hands, you can kiss my cheek, all that sappy shit" I told him, putting the short list in brackets.

Jeff hummed a little in agreement before bringing something else up. "& we can't tell anyone that this relationship is fake".

I typed it in & nodded. "That'd be humiliating"

"Alright so it's settled" he said, taking his weight off my chair & now sitting on my bed. "I could also give you notes everyday, you know cutesy shit".

My face heated up slightly at the thought of receiving daily love letters from Jeff. "You'd do that?" I asked, glancing over to him as I began to slowly type it into the document.

Jeff nodded & lay down on my bed, "Yeah, it sells the whole dating thing more, ya know?"

"Very romantic" I teased. I turned my attention back to the computer screen & added a paint png. I signed my name. "Hey, sign this" I told Jeff, pointing to the screen. 

He rolled his eyes, turning on his side. "I'll do it later". I stared at him with an unimpressed expression until he finally sighed, giving in. He got up & took my mouse in his hand, sloppily writing his initials. "There".

When the next came around, I decided to leave my room. Not willingly. It took a lot of convincing from Jeff, he wanted to begin to display our fake relationship as soon as possible. I eventually agreed to shut him up. 

We walked downstairs, side by side, fingers intertwined. It caused my heart to flip a few times, but I ignored it. Who knew holding hands could feel so intimate. "Why are you two holding hands?" Sally asked as she met us at the bottom of the stairs. 

Jeff shrugged & glanced over to me with a small smile. "I guess I'm his boyfriend" he told her. I nodded silently in agreement, I was still new to this whole thing even if it was fake. 

Sally's eyes & smile grew as she squealed excitedly. "That's so cute!" She cheered, running up the stairs. I laughed a little at her reaction, I wondered how everyone else would react to it. 

Before now, I was sure almost everyone would be disgusted by me dating someone, or jealous I was dating someone 10 times out of my league since I was just a shut in. But to my surprise, everyone either stayed quiet about it or congratulated me & Jeff. 

Toby was one of the ones who kept quiet, shooting me confused glances every now & again as if he wasn't sure if he should talk to me or not. I didn't mind, I'd rather not face him right now until I find a way to lie about the letter. 

I glanced at my door as it knocked & got off my chair to open it. Once I opened it, I was greeted by hoodie. He handed me a folded up piece of paper & from his voice, I assumed he was smiling. "Your little boyfriend told me to give you this" he told me, nudging me with his elbow. I took the paper, feeling my cheeks turn pink at the statement. I smiled back at him as he walked away. 

I have to admit, it's weird to have someone come to my door that used to be almost forgotten about. Not only that, but to give me a heartfelt note written just for me, even if the words were all fake. I placed the note in my drawer where the letters used to live & sat back down, deciding not to read it at the moment. 

Not even a minute later, there was another knock at my door. I sighed & spun around in my chair to face the door. "Come in" I called out, expecting it to be Jeff. Instead, Nina stormed in, knife in hand. 

She dove at me & held the knife to my neck, almost piercing through the skin. "Since when have you & Jeff been so buddy buddy?" She asked coldly.

I was scared at first but I was confident she wouldn't really hurt me. She would be kicked out of the mansion if she attempted to kill me. "He's my boyfriend, not my buddy" I replied as if I didn't have a knife poking at my neck. 

She gritted her teeth. "You know what I mean! How could Jeff love you?" She looked me up & down, she seemed more upset than angry now. "He doesn't even like boys, dammit. He's supposed to love me!"

I rolled my eyes, I couldn't be bothered with her monologue. But alas, she continued, returning to her previous angry tone. 

"How far have you two been?"

"Excuse me?" I replied, holding back a laugh.

"Second base? Third?" She began to press the blunt end of the knife harder against my neck. 

"Knock knock" Jeff called out, knocking against my open door as he did. Nina spun her head around, still holding the knife in place. "I'd appreciate if you didn't kill my boyfriend, thanks".

Nina's jaw dropped & she lowered her hand. I was finally able to breathe comfortably again. "Ben? Ben of all people, really?" She was now questioning Jeff, pointing to me with her knife as she waved her arms frantically. 

"Why do you care?" Jeff asked, pushing past her to get to me. He put a hand under my jaw & raised my head to look at him. He leaned forward as if to kiss me & then he looked back to Nina with a glare. "Do you mind?"

Nina's face scrunched up & she stormed out of my room, slamming it behind. The room fell silent for a moment, until Jeff began to laugh. "Jesus Christ, sorry man" he removed his hand from my jaw & took a seat on my bed as usual. "She's batshit". 

"I can tell" I replied, rubbing my neck where she had been pressing her knife. It had left a slight graze & I could assume it was probably red. Jeff noticed this & got back up. He pulled my hand away, staring at the mark on my neck. "What?" I asked him. 

He continued to stare until he leaned down & put his lips to my neck. He licked the graze & began to kiss & suck around it. My breath hitched, I froze up, not knowing if I should push him away or not. I could feel him smirk as he continued. 

I finally got my voice back after a small gulp. "Jeff, what the fuck?" I asked him quietly, swallowing down any moans my mouth wanted to release. That would be so embarrassing. 

He finally pulled away, staring at my neck again before he smiled, as if admiring his work. "There, now it's pretty" was all he said before he left my room. 

I pressed my fingers to my neck & felt it. I shrugged it off as Jeff being Jeff. 

It wasn't until hours later when I went to the bathroom that I noticed it. He had left a dark hickey on my neck.


End file.
